Dianne: [while Shaun is fighting a zombie] SHAUN!
[Throws dart and misses]
Shaun: YO!
Shaun: [Diane throws another dart and hits the zombie] YES, yes, in the head!
Shaun: [Diane throws a third dart and hits Shaun in the head on accident] AHHHHHHHHH!

Shaun: Come and get it! It’s a running buffet!
[shouts]
Shaun: All you can eat!

Ed: Any zombies out there?
Shaun: Don’t say that!
Ed: What?
Shaun: That!
Ed: What?
Shaun: The zed-word. Don’t say it!
Ed: Why not?
Shaun: Because it’s ridiculous!
Ed: Alright… are there any out there though?
Shaun: [looking out the door mail slot, he sees an empty street] I don’t see any. Maybe it’s not as bad as all that.
Shaun: [turns his head and sees a pack of zombies] Oh, no, wait, there they are.

Ed: [after Shaun hits zombie with butt of rifle] Why didn’t you just shoot him?

Ed: Don’t forget to kill Philip!

Shaun: Ohh, for God’s sake! He’s got an arm off!

Trisha Goddard: [”I Married A Zombie” sketch] You go to bed with it?

Barbara: [Over the phone] Some men tried to get into the house.
Shaun: Well are they still there?
Barbara: [Over the phone] I’m not sure, we’ve shut the curtains.

Shaun: They still out there?
[Ed checks, revealing two zombies scratching at the window]
Ed: Yeah. What you think we should do?
Shaun: Have a sit down?

[describing the zombies]
Dianne: Just look at the face: it’s vacant, with a hint of sadness. Like a drunk who’s lost a bet.

[Shaun and Ed back up to the body of a man they’ve just hit and Shaun rolls down his window]
Shaun: Are you all right?
Ed: Come on, let’s just go.
Shaun: Hello?
Ed: He’s going to be dead either way.
Shaun: Ed, that’s not the point!
[the body rises and moans, zombified, at Shaun and Ed]
Shaun: Oh thank God for that.

Shaun: As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no “I” in team, but there is an “I” in pie. And there’s an “I” in meat pie. Anagram of meat is team… I don’t know what he was talking about.

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